A new year, a new challenge ...

First off, I want to thank my Lord for another year.  When, in my wildest dreams, did I ever think I would make it to 2014?  In my mind, I always thought 2000 would be it for me.   Yet here I am still, after fourteen years.

So 2014 has started off very slowly,  dragging its feet, if I may.  Which  I'm guessing has had to do with several factors: recovering from the holidays, not looking forward to the challenges of a new year, and asking, 'where have I been and where am I headed?' among others.

Yes, we started with Victoria's birthday celebration, and that was awesome as always, but that's as far as it goes.  It could be because I entered the year with a horrific back pain, which comes and goes on a whim's notice.  Or maybe the below-freezing temperatures have been to blame.  Or, the fact that we just celebrated Mom's first year anniversary of going home to The Lord, which is always painful.

It's been so slow as a matter of fact, that there are still boxes of Christmas decorations hanging around.  Why the reindeer are still hoisted out front, for good measure?!  The dollhouse I put up for the holidays, is still garlaned in lights, though not lit and twinkling, still out on the porch in all its splendor.  The doll family will be celebrating the holidays, with their decked tree and all, for heavens knows how long.  Blame all this on the back pain.  The wreaths are still hanging on the bottom front windows.

Because of the snowstorm on January 3rd,  my very important eye doctor's appointment was cancelled and I still haven't called back to reschedule it.  Since then and even before, like many parts of the country, we've had snow, rain, fog and even some nice weather in between.  But it's been mostly snow, rain, and frigid temperatures, which if you ask me are not very conducive to any outdoor activity except skiing, for those who can afford it, that is.   I, for one, certainly can't afford it.   I was financially wiped out with the holidays, and am extremely lucky to have just enough money to pay my bills and to eat.

But not to worry, it's not all that bad.  Some positive things have happened so far.  For example after so many years I visited my high school last week, and experienced the unique opportunity to bask in the memories of the innocent high-schooler.  I was both honored and in awe to be walking the corridors and going up and down staircases I had only been able to see in my dreams.  I felt so blessed to be there after all those years.  The libarian assured me, "We are all family here."  And what a nice thing to hear her say.  I gifted the school with an autographed copy my book, The Women in White.  If I can inspire just one student to succeed, my job in life has been accomplished.

Another wonderful thing came about - Cristina landed a dream job with a major women's magazine as writer, in addition to her regular job as researcher.  It's right up her ally, because if anyone can research a story, that would be Crissy.  Glamour you are so lucky to have her!  As for InStyle, you missed out on having on board, one of the most dedicated and talented people to come out of Princeton.  Like the saying goes, "One man's gain, is another man's loss."

On another positive note, our own chef Christian, family pride and joy, landed a place as a judge of this season's Top Chef in Puerto Rico, another in his list of many accomplishments.  We are so proud of both Cristina and Christian.  Congratulations, you guys!

In the meantime, in my job as a wannabe writer, I am always researching, be it by reading anything I can get my hands on, on the internet, or by traveling when the opportunity presents itself.  This last week, some Godsend information landed on my lap and I literally ran with it.  It turns out, I may have found the missing link to our family tree which I had altogether given up on, but found one day short of Mom's anniversary.  I couldn't help but think that it was Mom's last gift to me, before she left the realms of earth completely.  I've always believed that the first year, our loved ones stay with us jut to make sure we're going to be okay and then depart to her eternal home.  If you get a chance read my last post.

Victoria has been on winter break as most college kids are, and it's been wonderful having her home. But she seems to spend a lot of time on her ipad, laptop, or watching TV.  And although we're somewhat concerned with her lack of physical exercise, I must admit I prefer her home on the computer, than out gallivanting with people who may not have her best interests at heart.  We have to be grateful for the little blessings, in however way they come.  Brilliant minds do work differently, and who's to say she's not feeding hers with everything in her power.  Things could always be so much worse - Miley comes to mind!

Anyway, to quote Helen De Generes, I am truly blessed to have come this far.  And, no, I did not make any new year resolutions just like I never do, except to try to stay healthy, to focus on what's really important in life, and to try to enjoy each day to the fullest, if only my back will allow me.

God bless!  Stay healthy, focused, and never lose sight of your hopes.  They're only a dream away!.

Snap Krackle 'n Pop!: Found: Antonio Rosell Carbonell, the most importan...

Snap Krackle 'n Pop!: Found: Antonio Rosell Carbonell, the most importan...: Found Antonio Rosell Carbonell: The most important and missing link to the Santiago family tree. Yesterday I was goog...

Found: Antonio Rosell Carbonell, the most important and missing link to the Santiago family tree

Found Antonio Rosell Carbonell: The most important and missing link to the Santiago family tree.

Yesterday I was googling pictures for my Women in White page, when I came upon a very interesting article on the pirate Cofresi. Upon further reading I found that Cofresi's mother was of the distinguished Ramirez de Arellano family of Cabo Rojo.  Cofresi didn't have any children of his own to carry on his name.  His only son died very young. As for Cofresi's two brothers, after the infamous feats their younger brother pulled off, they most likely preferred not to be associated with the Cofresi name, and so opted (with good reason, I should add) to use their mother's name instead.

One of Cofresi's nephews or grandnephews (I'm not sure, as I need to do more research), married a young girl by the last name of Roselle. Lorenza, or Lorencita, died of typhus fever at the early age of eighteen. Her father was Antonio Roselle, a colonel in the Spanish army and stationed in Guayama, in the southern part of the island.  Antonio was born in Spain around 1820, and married Juana Josefa who bore him three daughters but no sons. 

Antonio met Bernardina Batista, the young daughter of Jose and Mercedes Batista, much later on in life.  She must have fallen in love with the distinguished older officer, enough to risk getting pregnant and bearing him a son, an illegitimate son whom she named Juan Anacleto. 

Records show that Anacleto was born in July of 1880. Antonio was close to 60 then.  As an officer of the elite Spanish army, we're certain that he could not afford to be mixed up in an extramarital affair, or much less, beget illegitimate children. At her age, his beautiful young girl lover gave birth to a son. But because of the particulars of this story expressed above, Bernardina chose to baptize her son by herself.  She did so in the church of Guayama a year after his birth.  She must have deduced that Antonio Rosell was never going to upset his marriage to Juana Josefa or his military career; and so she did the right thing. There is no record of the father, nor any information pertaining to his whereabouts, on the baptismal certificate. The fact that he was Spanish, would explain why he wasn't found in any of the island's demographic registries. 

That illegitimate son of Col. Antonio Rosell, was none other than our beloved grandfather, Anacleto Santiago, Mom's dad who loved his children, especially his Gandulito, with an unconditional love.  Read my book The Women in White. 

Records show that Bernardina later took a husband by the name of Jose Maria de Santiago. It would make sense that her firstborn illegitimate son should take the name of his stepfather. 

In summary, Papa's sister Lorencita Roselle, was married to a nephew or grandnephew of the famous pirate Cofresi who stole from the rich to give to the poor.  Papa would have been either the nephew or grandnephew of Cofresi the pirate from Cabo Rojo.  Throughout the history of our family there have been many links between Guayama and Cabo Rojo.

It turns out that our family is in some twist of fate somewhat related to Cofresi.  All this is documented and not a figment of my imagination.  I have all the records to prove everything I write here.  I have been diligently working on our family tree for almost two years, but I gave up the search for our great granddad, Antonio Roselle, a year ago when Mom passed away.

What a coincidence that this information was made known to me, only three days before Mom's one year anniversary of going home to the Lord.  Coincidence?  I don’t think so.  I truly believe this was Mom's gift to us before she leaves once-and-for-all for her eternal dwelling place.  After all, she was my biggest supporter when I was working on our family tree, and would spend endless hours on the phone with me trying to help me piece together our family history.  She wanted to know who her grandfather was, as much as I did.  

Mom, this one is for you!  You never did cease to amaze me!  Thank you from all of us, your children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews, for this last truly and unique gift! I will love you always and forever! 

With all my love,

S.

Sent from my iPhone

Snap Krackle 'n Pop!: Goodbye, farewell, we hate to see you go! Not!!!

Snap Krackle 'n Pop!: Goodbye, farewell, we hate to see you go! Not!!!: Goodbye, farewell, we hate to see you go.  Not!!! As we near the last days of 2013, we can't help but look back fondly (or not ...

Snap Krackle 'n Pop!: A Highly Unexpected Surprise on The Eve of All Sou...

Snap Krackle 'n Pop!: A Highly Unexpected Surprise on The Eve of All Sou...: As I'm sure most of you know, All Saints' Day is always celebrated on the 1st of November, followed by All Souls' Day.  And, as ...

A Highly Unexpected Surprise on The Eve of All Souls' Day!

As I'm sure most of you know, All Saints' Day is always celebrated on the 1st of November, followed by All Souls' Day.  And, as I posted in my last post, this is a very holy day for Catholics.  Unfortunately,  yesterday I was so preoccupied with an article on aging that I've been working on,  that it totally escaped my mind and consequently I didn't make it to Mass.

After working on my article all day and downloading some pictures I had taken for it, I proceeded to check the pictures for errors.   I was taken aback when I saw several orbs of different sizes in many of the pictures, either directly on my person or surrounding me.

Depending on who one talks to, these orbs can mean spirits that are within close proximity; or just plain orbs resulting from different reflections of light.  To be honest, I was not so much perplexed with my findings, as I was joy-filled; and later, over dinner I mentioned it to my girls.  Jules, who's good at trying to make people feel good, suggested that the orbs might be my late Victor's spirit watching over me.  Which is exactly what I would like to believe!   However, because of my Protestant upbringing, I have a  hard time embracing orbs, spirits and the like.  Read my book, The Women in White, and you'll see why.   The thought that any spirit, good or bad, aside from the Holy Spirit, might be in my midst, is hard for me to wrap my brain around.

Very early this morning,  I awoke from quite possibly one of the most beautiful and surreal dreams I have ever experienced.  It was so vivid, so surreal, so palpable, that at that precise moment I could swear it was real.

It was evening and I had gone for a walk to enjoy the brisk fresh air.  I paused, looked around, and looked up at the beautiful night sky.  There, up in the air but close enough that I could almost reach out and touch it, a straight path lead from one side of the spectrum to the other.  I was not so much taken aback by this revelation, as I was by the next.  As clear as day, a handsome man dressed in a suit and tie, appeared to be walking along on the skyward path.   And when I looked closely, lo and behold, the man was my own beloved Victor.  Mesmerized, in shock and in denial, I asked myself over and over again, "How could this be, Victor is dead!"

When our eyes met, he motioned for me to stay, that he was stepping down to meet me.  As I stood in shock, paralized, and completely stopped in my tracks, I witnessed how he effortlessly came down off the path and started walking toward me.  "Yet, he's as alive as I am!" I convinced myself, as he came closer to me, sporting the signature dimpled smile on his always handsome face.

And then we were holding each other, and a loving warmth unlike anything in real life overtook me.   And as we kissed, I stopped trying to figure it out and surrendered to the moment in time, convinced that my love had never died.   As we held each other in this seemingly eternal embrace, all sense of place, time, event, eluded me.  I could only feel the warmth of our love and an inner all-around peace, and meant to be with this man who was so alive and well.  This man who had never died!  And when we composed ourselves, never letting go of me, he whispered, "Let me walk you back home."  And I could only nod yes.   Then together we walked back home, embracing and enraptured in the warmth and the light of our love.

Once back home and still in each other's arms, the loving warm feeling never leaving me, he gently whispered something else in my ear that which I cannot remember.  And this was the saddest part - Vic started to fade away - not pull away, just slowly fade away.  And with him, the warmth I had felt, also started to leave me.   Yet somehow I was okay, because in my heart I knew that this was how it had to be.

I've never believed or disbelieved.  Is it mere coincidence, or is it God-incidence that my unique gift in the form of a dream was made possible on All Souls' Day, of all days?  There are so many questions  and so little answers.

Once again, I am in awe and so grateful to God for gifting me in such a beautiful way, for in eleven years that Victor has been gone, I never had such a precious and surreal dream.  Yes, I dream with Vic from time to time!  And yes,  he is always happy, healthy, and carefree.  But this was by far, the most heartfelt and generous of all my Victor dreams!  And all, on the Eve of All Souls' Day.

Snap Krackle 'n Pop!: The Women in White, by Silvie Vargas

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