And the flood gates opened, finally.....

And the flood gates opened, finally…..

It wouldn’t be fair to consider myself a writer, if I didn’t at least attempt to write about the most recent developments surrounding my life.   After all, it’s been more than a month since I wrote anything down.  I guess that’s what they call writer’s block.  However, I can use all kinds of excuses, but only for so long – it’s long overdue and I should at least give it a stab. 

Our trip started Sunday, July 7 and went through until July 24 when we flew home.  By now everyone has heard the news.   At the same time that we were flying home, a horrific accident was taking place very near to Santiago de Compostela, a place that has suddenly become very dear to my heart.  It grieves me to think that 79 people lost their lives and that countless others were injured and possibly still in hospitals. 

The whole experience of losing Mom, then out of the blue and without even realizing it traveling on the same exact day that marked her six-month anniversary to the place where our great-grandparents were thought to be born and to the place where the Apostle St. James' remains lay, is definitely something to think about.

Last night at our annual combined Cornerstone Teams II and III dinner meeting, it all came to a head, and the floodgates finally flung open for me.  The fact that I was sitting next to Kelley Lacey might have had some bearing on my sudden emotional outburst, considering that Kelley is known to cry at the mere mention of anything remotely sad.   Suffice it to say that when our co-hostess Mary played the closing song, “Stand By Me”, which I originally started singing along to and swaying to the beat like everyone else, I was literally brought to my knees, sobbing relentlessly for a good ten minutes or so.   Embraced on either side by my sisters Karina and Kelley in a friendship circle of close to twenty women, I clung to Kelley as if she were my lifeline and the only person who could understand my pain. 

It was, I believe, a culmination of emotions that brought me to that point.   Not having fully grieved the loss of Mom; visiting the Apostle St. James’ final resting place, and journeying to the land of my ancestors, specifically the Santiago’s (Mom’s last name is De Santiago).   And, I’m guessing, feeling the tragic loss of 79 innocents, near such a sacred place, all finally came to a head.  The fact that my two girls and I could have been on that train and possibly killed didn’t escape my mind either.   And from henceforth, is probably where my meltdown more than likely stemmed from.   Added to the fact that it was a grueling two and a half weeks for us three girls, gallivanting nonstop through every city from Madrid to Santiago, from Bordeaux to Paris, and then down to Barcelona, this tryst most definitely took a toll not just on my body, but on my emotions as well. 

I guess I just needed to empty myself emotionally.  On top of all that, this week we received distressing news.   My brother-in-law, the patriarch of our Vargas-Santiago family, was admitted to the hospital with chest pains and underwent emergency surgery of the heart.   The idea that we might lose another dear family member so soon after losing Mom, was probably too much to bear.  

I could go on about all that transpired this week, but I will end by saying that God is overly gracious, and kind, and so very generous in every way with my family and with me.  For that, I will be eternally and forever grateful to Him.